Gaz-Metal's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[London Bridge is Fucked]

Wheel Chair

I hope you kept that wheelchair bound old man who lives next door to you awake all night singing that.

CockRider responds:

Me too. I hate that cunt and I hope he dies.

[I am a Groovy Bastard]

Small

You small dicked bastard. Your diplomatic immunity has just expired. Who is the dickedd now eh?

CockRider responds:

the dick head is you. the dick head is you.

[F-Zero Mute City Metalized]

Turbo Boost

This music inspired me to run round the block 5 times. After one lap I got a turbo so I used it. I went "RRRUUUUUUUAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR" down the straight of Victoria road and did a jump on that ramp and nearly fell off the edge.
I was on the final lap and I saw a flashing Donut car and I couldn't resist crashing into it. It exploded into a ball of flames but sent be flying into the edge. I got electrocuted as fuck and lost some energy. Good job I had recharged on previous laps. Though. I got back home and beat the best time!

GoreBastard responds:

Hahaha. Those donut cars are gay bastards. You should try the St. Helens circuit. It's harder than the Earlestown one.
lemaou. Cheers for checking this bitch out. It's been in the pipeline for ages.

[Your Impending Doom]

I eat green berrets for breakfast

The music came out of my speakers, turned into a man and twatted me. Good job I'm hard as fuck though cos I got up all bloody and threw him out of the window and he landed on a spike. Then I took his car and said "Let's take Your Impending Fucking Doom's car. He wont be needing it."

[VBoFR]

Spider Fingers

This song inspired me to rape spiders but everytime I tried to stick my dick up their cunts or arseholes, I squashed the spider. Damn it!

[Rock Bastards... ATTACK!!!]

Kweeeer

This music reminds me of the time you didnt take your Gran shopping. Oh wait that was today. Now I have to take her tommorrow you kweer. I'm gonna steal all of your guitars and wipe my bum with them.

GoreBastard responds:

Yeah, sometimes my brain doesn't work properly. Actually what happened was, I was still awake at 6am, so I thought, Fuck it, I'll go upstairs and watch DVD's till 10am, then take her shopping and sleep when I get back, but I put a porno on and fell asleep with my dick in my hand. When I woke up it was 12:30 :-(

So I went back to sleep again, then had a wank before I set off for work, but because I was taking too long wanking, I was late for work and had to phone up and say that I was stuck in traffic!!! haha, that's not a joke either. That really happened.

[Bastardized]

Fadge

Well spank my arse and call me Charlie. Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt. Too many cooks spoil the broth. A scrotum with a needle in it is like finding a needle in a haystack.

GoreBastard responds:

finding your small penis is like looking for an atom in a universe, you small dicked bastard!!! hahahahaa
I win.

I mean, thanks for checking my fucking dead good brutal as fuck music out, you fuckré!!!

[Dissected with a Sledge Hammer]

Palm Death

Got a boner from this music. Had a wank. No... a vvank.

GoreBastard responds:

A Wank. You should buy some condoms so you can have a "posh wank". They are cool because there is no mess......

[I Killed Your Fucking Fam]

Willy Bum

My name is Willy Bum and I want to let you know that this music inspired me to stick my willy up a turkey's bum. I enjoyed it as did the turkey. It went "Awwrrrrrgggg!" and I made sex noises.
Jeah! Gorebastard mofo! When you audition for that band, if they don't let you into the band then they are dick heads who are probably a shit band anyway.
Feed me Seymour! Feed me all night long!!!!

GoreBastard responds:

Yeah, bastards better let me in!!!
Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll shit on their doorstep! ROAR...

I got deja-ve reading this review for some reason...

[Thunder Storm]

Kweeeeeeeeeer!

Dun dun dun dun dun! You should do a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover and call it Mystyr Wyde. That was cool. Zero voters best keep their filthy mits off this or I'll bite their fingers off for you. JEAH!

GoreBastard responds:

haha. Thanks. Zero voters are shit. My faith in newgrounds has just been restored. I left my computer for a few hours to have some beers with my mates, and when I come back on, the song has boosted up in score. Thanks to all of you fucking Newgrounds dudes who voted on this.

Also, it would rule to do a Skynyrd cover, but I can't play any of their songs... Yet!