Gaz-Metal's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Pathways (GoreBastard) (_8n(')]

kweeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

I have a focks and it lives in a bocks.
This music tries to stop me from wanting to fuck fat bitches, but it fails because I still want to fuck fat bitches.

GoreBastard responds:

That's because there's subliminal messages in the song saying, "fuck a fat bitch Gaz_Metal, fuck one now".

[Risen From the Fukin' Cemetary]

Cem

I rose from the cemetary once. I got a boner.

GoreBastard responds:

I rose from the cemetary once. I got a boner.
Oh thats what you said, I mean I just found out that I got herpes and AIDS at the same time from fucking a retard.

[Axe Death - Here's Johnny]

Offensive

This music offends me.

GoreBastard responds:

Hahaha! Suck on Santa's sack you big smelly spack!!!!!!

[Brutal Fucking Torture]

Clang

Clang clang clang with the trolly!
Ring ring ring with the bell!

GoreBastard responds:

Lui Kang is going to kick you a new arse hole, then Shanh Tsung is going to transform into you and go around calling people names. Then people will kick your arse for it.
Cheerios!

[Stick Your Dick in a Woman]

Ha ha ha!

I dunno what that last reviewer was talking about, that singing made the song funny as fuck! It was funny as fuck! Especially the Gore Bastard rap and the birds Sqwarks. Then the Slayer humming along. I've not laughed so much for yonks.
It's time to heed your own advice and stick your dick in a woman... and not your own mum!

GoreBastard responds:

Hahaha Thanks Gaz Metal. It would be better if the mic I robbed off you wasn't so shitty!
The name's Bastard, GoreBastard
STICK YOUR DICK IN A WOMAN
STICK YOUR DICK IN HER CUNT
STICK YOUR DICK IN A WOMAN
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE'S DEAD.

[Zero Voters DIE!!!]

Kweers!

Yeah fuck those 0 voters. The nerd cunt bastard sons of bitches. They are all nerds who still feed from their mum's tits. If their mum dies they are doomed because they are totally dependent on their mum's. Fuck you nerds! Eat my James Bond shoes you bastards!

GoreBastard responds:

Yes. I don't hate the zero voters, I pity them, because they are probably disabled limbless people who hate the world because they have no arms or legs, so they take their anger out on peoples hard work... Not this song though, this wasn't hard work!

[Short Riff or PAIN!]

Toads

I played this and loads of toads started to crawl through every opening to my room. They came in through the windows, under the door, through the cracks in the walls...
Fuckin' ell, thousands of toads in my room stood head banging giving the horns. When the track finnished they all fucked off to whence they came.

GoreBastard responds:

I just ate my own shit and spat it back out at my computer screen. It was most enjoyable.

[Battle With Sanity (no vo]

Scrotal Sack

For some reason, everytime I hear this tune, my scrotal sack goes bigger. It's massive now... MASSIVE!

PS - This sounds like Seek And Destroy ha ha ha!!! What a kweer.

GoreBastard responds:

Everytime I hear it my boner goes bigger. Buyakasha!

['New' Fist of the North Star]

Fisting Women

I'm going to introduce my fist to your face. Mr Fist, meet Mr Face!
James Bond is coming to claim your body as a trophy.

GoreBastard responds:

I'll introduce my bollocks to your face when I whip you with them... Whip you with my bollocks...

[Battletoads - Level2 Metalized]

Hey Picton!

You should do a website and cover loads of computer game music like Neskimos and Megadriver and the rest of those nerd cunts. Also you should cover that cool Double Dragon music and the boss music from Super R Type.

What did the man say when he burnt himself on some gravey?
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH BISTO!!!

Dead Meat Thompson is dead!

GoreBastard responds:

Yes I sould indeed... You suck at making up and telling jokes Gareth... I'm gonna shit on your car.