Gaz-Metal's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[F-Zero - Big Blue Metaliz]

F Queero

I have got a Blue Falcon and I'm going to drive around Mute City in it fast as fuck whilst listening to this.
The next thing you cover must be the 1st bonus level from Battletoads In Battlemaniacs or else I'll twat you in your scrubber.

[A Dead Fucking Bitch!]

ROO REW!

What's broke, your arm or your leg?
ROO REW!!!

This song made me unearth a dead fucking bitch and fuck her cold, rotten, maggot ridden cunt. Then it made my face melt like those nazi's on Raiders of The Lost Ark.

GoreBastard responds:

Whaahahaa!!!
Well that was my intent, to get people to do that... Hence the name "A Dead Fucking Bitch"... Jeah Buoooyyyy. It wasn't meant to make your face melt though.

[Cannibal Corpse Riff]

Cannibal Jorpse

This music makes me want to kill some babies and have sex with their upset mum's.

GoreBastard responds:

HAHAHAAA! What about their upset dads? Don't leave them out... Anyway that's probably what the Band intended for people to think when they wrote the song... That's why it's so good!

[Slayer - Raining Blood Cover]

Rain

You should have changed it a little and called it "Raining Wank Juice" instead.

GoreBastard responds:

harrrrrr... Why don't you submit more audio to Newgrounds... your stuff is funny as fuck, but OH NO... I've got your microphone!!!

[Flowing Carpet]

Scrotum Wotum

This music can turn queers into straights.

GoreBastard responds:

HAHAHAHA! Does that mean you are gonna dump your boyfriend... BLEEUURRRGGGHHH!

[Enter Death (Fall to hell)]

Cool

This music inspired me to kidnap Princess Toadstool. I managed to breach her security and I took her to my hideout where I raped her about fifteen or sixteen times.
I was raping her then suddenly I heard this gay voice from behind me then a fireball hit me in the face knocking me halfway across the room. I looked up and it was that fuckin' Mario come to rescue the Princess.
I ran over to him and started punching him, punching him in his face until his skull had collapsed inside his head. He was dead. Dead!
I took Mario's skipping rope from out of his pocket and wrapped it around the Princess's throat and choked her to death at the same time as I raped her, then when she was dead I raped her again.
After that I came back home and listend to your track again and it inspired me to go kidnap Slippy Toad... but that's another story.

GoreBastard responds:

I'm glad my music induces rape, which is what I was going for with this particular song... You should stop doing it though, because it is illegal. I guess I'll have to wait till I submit another track to hear about the Slippy Toad story!

[Wrath of the Bastards]

Pac Man

Your music is cooler than a ghost.

I'm affraid of no ghost!

GoreBastard responds:

If there's something near,
and it don't look good,
who ya gonna call?
GHOST BUSTERS.
Gowsts are cool as fuck.

[Snapped in Fucking Half]

Jeah

There was bat droppings all over my house, so I played this music and it cleaned it all up. Now my house is clean of bat shit thanks to Gore Bastard!

GoreBastard responds:

Good, but if you want your house to be even cleaner try new:
Cillit bang cillit bang cillitcillitcillit bang.

[Completely Fucking Squashed]

Gore Bastard

I played this music to my girlfriend and it was that good her cunt caught fire. Now she is unable to fuck ever again because it hurts her too much but I fuck her anyway. The police call it rape, I call it burnt vadge play. Come and look at my girlfriends burnt twat. Haaa ha ha ha - twat.

GoreBastard responds:

JEAHHHH.

[Murdered for Fun?]

Slippy Toad

I listend to this music when I stuck my dick up Slippy Toad's arsehole and raped him to death. Then I used the strength of the music to clean the jizz out of his dead arsehole, but I washed my dick with some new cillit bang.

GoreBastard responds:

HAHAHA... I bet you didn't even need lube to fuck Slippy Toad, you could just use his slime. You shouldn't put cillit bang on your dick though, it says not to on the back of the box.